Welcome to the Visual Candy caption competition. Send in your bizarre, funny or rude captions to: dean@visualcandy.co.uk

Every caption received (one per person) will be posted on this page for all the world to see. The caption which makes us wet our pants the most will win a free t-shirt from our store with FREE WORLDWIDE shipping. The winner gets to choose any t-shirt.

The March caption competition closes on Saturday 27th March. The winner will be notified via email later that same day and the winners caption will be added to the image above and displayed on the previous winners pages.

"Frank misunderstood his wife when she told him to get his chopper out for a romp in the snow!"  Doug Barnes

"In the freezing cold, Harry's own chopper just wasn't big enough."  Rob Falconer

"Cold weather causes chopper shrinkage!"  Andy Hulme

"Gerald's desperate efforts to rescue his fellow naturists from their sunken minibus were thwarted by the cold water's impact on the size of his chopper."  Magic Surf Bus

"Help! My big chopper is frozen stiff!"  John Haines

"The horrible truth was beginning to dawn on Frank, perhaps buying his new hot tub from eBay wasn't such a good idea."  Colin Richardson

"I know size isn't everything, but I wish the head was bigger on my chopper!" 
Melanie Stirling

"Next up on Real World Today; Fishing - Hardcore Amish Style - Are YOU hard enough?"  Dana Fisher

"I've lost me nuts, now I'm losing me chopper!!!"  Ian Nicholls

"George thought he'd swung his chopper at a safe distance, but seemed it was already too late.."  Karen Bis

"Here's Johnny (he's older than I remember)."  Christine Bray

"I know my trunks are in here somewhere."  Alison Stone

"HERE'S SVEN! (a manager exposed) - What I did after getting the axe from England...Out in the cold - trying to bury past indiscretions! - and exactly how Nancy sees me!"  Jo Carroll

"Dean's search for the perfect hairy axe wound took him to the ends of the earth and then some."  Owen Stone

"When Kilroy-Silk cracked up it wasn't pretty..."  Mike Proctor

"And Harry tries for the world record of nude ice chopping, Brrrrrrrilliant!" 
Suzzee Langton

"As Frank Bough hit the ice with the axe, you could see a small crack forming at the rear!"  Donny McWhinnie

"Fred really wishes he gave having a pee in the river a bit more thought." 
Fiona Waterworth

"It's been 15 years since Mildred asked John to get his big chopper out..." 
Sarah Boothby

"His wife asked him to go outside and chop some wood. Not being one to disappoint his wife, he chopped his own wood!"  David M

"On a recent fishing trip former President George Bush still denies global warming exists."  Julie Kenny

"Extreme fishing you say?? Well...have...some...of...THIS! ROBSON GREEN! You ain't got the NUTS!"  Mark Davenport

"Survivor on the Titanic: Where's the f****** ship gone?!"  Mary Dempsey

"As the second Ice Age approached, one man was determined to change destiny."  
Gill Torri

"On their Royal Tour of Canada the Duke of Edinbugh takes a break and waits for a baby seal to surface."  Tracy Davidson

"That got rid of her making out I was naked... O that's where I put my glasses!"  
Laura Benham

"No, you deaf old sod, I said strip off and I'll WAX your ASS."  Ken Wilkinson

"30 years on and John Terry still finds himself out in the cold and unable to control his chopper."  Phil Tuckwood

"I really must get that darn bath in the igloo fixed."  Jim Kerr

"Disappointed with our haul of one gold medal, Prince Philip decided to sabotage the bobsleigh track."  Nigel Vaughan

"MOD cutbacks meant the RAF search and rescue effort was limited to sending out a single chopper."  Andy Teo

"Things were going well for Martin until he got his chopper stuck in the ice." 
David Hixson-Ward

"Jeff would feel much better if he could just pull his axe out of the polar bear."  
Jo Barnsley

"I said I like Ice Road Truckers not Old Iced *uckers."  Kim Vaughan

Boy: "Daddy, why's Grandad standing in the cold water waving an axe?"
Father: "Just for the crack son."
Susie Smith

"Be careful with your chopper dear, or you'll end up with an axe wound!"  Neil Renton

"Fed up by the abuse from his playing partners, Rennard models his new waterproofs on the 18th tee at Sutton Spa Golf & Country Club."  Chris Hyam

"These new fishing techniques play havoc with your WINKLES and WHELKS." 
Rob n Kath Drewery

"The boys loved Papa Bjog's fishing style...and the fish was delicious."  elbosnio.com

"This guy loves to show his crack on the ice!"  Sam Hagen

"George kept on chopping away at that frozen log."  Susan Hawthorne

"Archie was never one to welsh on a bet, especially for $10..."  Christine Bray

"Respect Man!! It's minus 2 and he can still get both hands around his chopper." 
Phil Hall

"A little to the left, honey, you missed a spot!"  Gus S

"Hold on Barbara! You're right! Skinny dipping was a stupid idea, Stan shouted"
"She's gonna have my chopper when I finally get her out of here, if I've still got one!"  Vicky Carter

"Snowballs? Not half!"  Beverley Kerry

"Maybe he shouldn't have gone to Iceland?"  Suzanne King

"Gerald found getting his chopper out and lifting it above his head usually broke the ice at any party."  John Beith

"Maybe mum should have gone to Iceland instead?"  Louise Speller

"Here fishy fishy, give me back my tackle."  John Healy

"...any more cold water and chopper comments and the fish gets it"  Dave Trevor

"Fish supper tonight... I'll bash it on the head when it gets a glimpse of this juicy little worm."  Christopher Robin Harris